The Adjunct

Dear Professor STAFF,

I am a student at a community college. I already have an Associates of Science, and am currently going for my second. Upon reading through the entirety of the website (I must say I was riveted by its content) a new respect for my current professors grew. I do appreciate all the hard work they put into classes, and do understand it’s a very difficult, and often thankless, position to hold. Though, I must admit until now I didn’t realize how difficult and thankless. I just wanted to say, as a student, I do appreciate your effort to educate us.

I do have a question, however. I read your post about how you noticed in the beginning of your career you noticed there being a direct correlation between attendance and grades. I must say that I find this often to be true, but I am an accomplished autodictact. While occasionally I get information from the teacher I did not find anywhere else, I often find it difficult to attend classes because I’ve already pretty well taught myself. Often times, even though my performance is excellent, I do find that my grade suffers very much from my attendance record. (My attendance is often poor due to lack of motivation to actually sit through a class.) I understand it’s important to be present for tests, and the occasional handout (though most teachers utilize blackboard and other such websites where I can often print my handouts from), I do not understand why I should be punished for my ability to teach myself. My real question is, is there a way to get around a teacher’s attendance policy (I’m guessing probably not), or is there a better way to try and motivate myself to go to a class that I am extremely bored in, even if I can teach the information to myself?

-V

Dear V,

How would you know what you’re missing if you’re missing it? How would you know what you’re supposed to learn if you’re not there?

You are not being punished for your ability to teach information to yourself.

Logistically speaking, the class requires several components in order to receive a passing grade. One of them, obviously, is comprehension of the material, but another is attendance in the class. College is more than just a one-dimensional assessment of your ability to acquire information. Although it might be true for some courses, most college classes cannot simply give you a textbook and then ask you to read it on your own, return in six months, take one test and then be granted a passing grade. There are other components involved. The instructor’s lectures and guidance is part of it. Even if you already know the information, or are capable of learning it independently, your instructor can add to you comprehension of the information. They can provide you with new ways of looking at what you already know, or they can detect and correct any errors that you may have unknowingly made on your part. Even if you are not gaining new insight, and even if you’ve made no mistakes, part of the process is regular practice.

An accomplished musician is accomplished not just because they know how to play their instrument, but because they practice it everyday. Such an accomplished musician does not say to herself, “Wait a second. I already know how to play these songs. Why should I bother playing them again if there is no audience here?” She sees the value in going over what she already knows. In fact, musicians often practice by playing very simplistic tones. They understand that repetition and rehearsal of the basics will continue to sharpen their skills and improve their abilities. It is the same way with your academic subjects.

College is an academic forum. It is a gathering of like minded people for the exchange of ideas and information. You need to participate in that exchange. Yes, many or most of your instructors may be inept failures. Such is life. Yes, most of your classmates are brain-dead zombies who can barely spell their own names correctly. Again, such is life. A college classroom that can be found lacking is not improved by your absence. Attend and offer your brilliance to it as much as you can.

When I was in graduate school one of my fellow candidates told me, “None of these professors can teach you anything, but you can learn a lot from them.”

Or you can just take an online class.

Comedian Bill Maher made a short speech on his television program
regarding the firing of every single teacher at Central Falls High School due to
low test scores.

I know I am a college instructor, and not high school teacher, but I
thought I’d share his little diatribe anyway because it does spark some very
interesting points relating to my profession.

Please keep in mind the Maher is a comedian first, and political commentator
second, and also that this contains a little rough language.

New Rule: Let’s Not Fire the Teachers When Students Don’t Learn — Let’s Fire the Parents

-Bill Maher

New Rule: Let’s not fire the teachers when students don’t learn – let’s fire the parents. Last week President Obama defended the firing of every single teacher in a struggling high school in a poor Rhode Island neighborhood. And the kids were outraged. They said, “Why blame our teachers?” and “Who’s President Obama?” I think it was Whitney Houston who said, “I believe that children are our future – teach them well and let them lead the way.” And that’s the last sound piece of educational advice this country has gotten – from a crack head in the ’80′s.

Yes, America has found its new boogeyman to blame for our crumbling educational system. It’s just too easy to blame the teachers, what with their cushy teachers’ lounges, their fat-cat salaries, and their absolute authority in deciding who gets a hall pass. We all remember high school – canning the entire faculty is a nationwide revenge fantasy. Take that, Mrs. Crabtree! And guess what? We’re chewing gum and no, we didn’t bring enough for everybody.

But isn’t it convenient that once again it turns out that the problem isn’t us, and the fix is something that doesn’t require us to change our behavior or spend any money. It’s so simple: Fire the bad teachers, hire good ones from some undisclosed location, and hey, while we’re at it let’s cut taxes more. It’s the kind of comprehensive educational solution that could only come from a completely ignorant people.

Firing all the teachers may feel good – we’re Americans, kicking people when they’re down is what we do – but it’s not really their fault. Now, undeniably, there are some bad teachers out there. They don’t know the material, they don’t make things interesting, they have sex with the same kid every day instead of spreading the love around… But every school has crappy teachers. Yale has crappy teachers – they must, they gave us George Bush.

According to all the studies, it doesn’t matter what teachers do. Although everyone appreciates foreplay. What matters is what parents do. The number one predictor of a child’s academic success is parental involvement. It doesn’t even matter if your kid goes to private or public school. So save the twenty grand a year and treat yourself to a nice vacation away from the little bastards.

It’s also been proven that just having books in the house makes a huge difference in a child’s development. If your home is adorned with nothing but Hummel dolls, DVD’s, and bleeding Jesuses, congratulations, you’ve just given your children the gift of Duh. Sarah Palin said recently she wrote on her hand because her father used to do it. I rest my case.

When there are no books in the house, and there are no parents in the house, you know who raises the kids? That’s right, the television. Kids aren’t keeping up with their studies; they’re keeping up with the Kardashians. We’re allowing the television, as babysitter, to turn us into a nation of slutty idiots. By the way, one sign your 9-year-old may be watching too much One Tree Hill: if she has an imaginary friend with benefits.

This arrived in the mail yesterday:

To: Instructors with Missing Grade Rosters
From: Division Dean
Date: January 11, 2010
Re: Missing Final Grade Rosters

Attached is a list of missing final grade rosters sent to me by Admissions and Records. Your name is on this list. Please follow the directions in the attached email from Admissions and Records staff to enter the final grades.

Per California Education Code, you must submit your grade rosters, in a timely fashion, at the end of each semester. They were due on January 4, 2010.

Sure enough, my name was on the list, conveiently highlighted by my Division Dean.

ENGL 267B – Professor STAFF

There’s only one problem: I did not have any students in English 267B. This college offers what are called AB courses, meaning a student can take them twice. The first time they take a course, they take A, in this case English 267A. If the student passed and wanted to take it again, they would enroll in English 267 B. I teach both A and B students in the same room, and thus get paid for teaching one course, English 267 AB.

So the reason that I have not submitted grade rosters for English 267 B is that I was never given a grade roster for 267 B, because I had 0 enrolled students in last semester (all the students were first timers taking English 267 A). Rosters are actually submitted online, and the computer does not even allow for me to select 267 B. After all, it has 0 enrolled students.

The fact that a class with 0 enrolled students would pass along so many desks of so many people, all of whom are supposed to be doing their job in some kind of supervisory or administrative fashion, yet not one of them would notice that the class has no students is very disheartening.

Instructors are losing their jobs left and right, and yet there is an army of handsomely paid, full-time, benefit receiving administrators and staff who seem to do little more than forward emails and create a lot of paperwork in order to justify their positions.

It is also disheartening that I, a lowly, underpaid, non-benefit receiving instructor immediately noticed that all but a few of the other names on this forwarded list have one thing in common: they are all instructors of B courses. Obviously, these other instructors had 0 enrolled students in the B section of their class. How could all the people at Admissions and Records, as well as the Division Dean, have completely missed this easily noticeable fact?

The answer: they never even looked into it. None of them questioned why all these teachers would be so negligent with their grade rosters. None of them contacted any of the instructors personally to speak to them about this issue. Not one of them even looked at the enrollment numbers for any of these classes. They just stamped out a form letter and sent it off to 25 college instructors.

So now I need to email about three people in regards to this. Why do I need to email three people, you ask? Well, past experience has taught me that an email to this particular Division Dean will likely result in a reply back that it is not her problem, and that I am the one who has to contact Admissions and Records about this error. Often, they never write back at all.

So off an email goes to the Division Dean, her secretary (sorry! sorry! Administrative Assistant), and this random administrator of Admissions and Records.

A new comment was left about me on ratemyprofessor.com:

Got me interested in writing again. A very caring and thorough person, more importantly, very passionate in his occupation because it rubs off onto his students. … Class involvement definitely brings insights about literature. VERY PASSIONATE!

I’m not a fan of the site, and you’ll hear a critique from me about it eventually, but it is nice every now and then to hear you’re doing a good job.

I just saw this on the side-splittingly hysterical web comic Animals Have Problems Too:

Too true. I just repeated the bat’s line to a very talented student who told me she wanted to be an Art History professor. Wise words, bat. Wise words.

They are having a rally in Berkeley regarding social security fairness for teachers. If you are a teacher (or just think we do work that deserves social security) and live in the area then please try and attend.

Numerous organizations will be using this rally as a model to spark action in other cities and states.

“An Energizing Rally For Social Security Fairness For Teachers”

You’ll be entertained and informed.

Sat. May 30, 11:00am – 12:30pm. Location: Berkeley Community Theater at Berkeley High School, 1930 Allston Way, Berkeley.

Parking: Allston Garage, one block east of school, $5

BART: One block south, one block west of downtown Berkeley Station

This is a One-Time Shot!

Two bills have recently been presented to our legislators. These bills, if passed, would repeal two unjust laws (the Windfall Elimination Provision and the Government Pension Offset) that have financially disadvantaged teachers for decades.

These two unfair laws dictate that teachers who worked in the public sector prior to teaching, or during teaching, may not collect full Social Security benefits at levels that other contributors do, even when they paid the same amounts as others into the Social Security System. Furthermore, teachers may not collect Social Security benefits, at the same amounts as others, from deceased spouses, or collect full Social Security benefits that they earned as a dependent spouse.

President Obama stated he would approve the new legislation if it reaches his desk. So the time is right to act on this.

Most of the public, unfortunately, is not aware of this injustice facing teachers. In fact, many teachers are not even aware of it until they retire. While they receive Social Security statements each year stating what they will receive upon retirement, it is only later that
they learn the statements don’t apply to them because they are teachers in CA. And many, who became teachers later in life, were not told ahead of time that they would forfeit Social Security benefits when they became teachers.

This is it! We are so close — but we need you to show up and be counted! We have the press. We have a beautiful theater that holds 3,500 people. If everyone who came to our first rally brings five other people, we’ll fill the theater! Plus — You’ll have a great time and get informed!

Janet Roosevelt, niece of FDR and Eleanor will speak.

Steve De Peu, CTA retirement committee advisor, will inform you on the impact of the GPO and WEP and what NEA is doing to help repeal this legislation.

Mark Sternberger, NEA Board of Directors, will provide us with more information.

Gail Mendes, Secretary/Treasurer of CTA will also honor us with her presence.

You will be entertained by a fabulous band — The Angry Tired Teachers! They write their own lyrics and will tailor their songs to our cause. They will energize you, and make you smile.

For more information about the rally, or for more information regarding Social Security fairness, visit our website: www.socialsecurityfairness.com

It was time to teach “Brownies” again. Last quarter, I had an interesting incident while teaching this story. This quarter I also found myself disheartened, but in a completely different way.

A key element in the story is that the Brownie’s fathers lived through segregation. So when we began discussing the fathers, and the concept of racial and social inheritance, I asked the question, “What did their fathers live through?”

Blank stares.

“Alright,” I said, “if this story takes place in the eighties, and these girls are about ten or eleven years old, then what was happening in this nation when their parents were their age?”

More stares. One student put his head down.

“Come on, people!” I clapped my hands to try and wake them up. “What was going on in this country in the late fifties and mid-sixties? What did all their fathers, all African-Americans for that matter, live through?”

“Slavery?” a particularly dull students asked.

Words failed me.

Slavery? Slavery!

“In 1960?” I asked her.

“All black people were slaves,” she told me cautiously.

“In 1960?” I asked again, incredulously. “When did slavery end? For God’s sake, when was the civil war?”

“The war was in the thirties,” another voice mumbled. “So that’s…was it 1938?”

You heard it here first: Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves in 1938. Or possibly 1960. At this point, the student who had guessed slavery existed in 1960, placed her head down on her desk, and closed her eyes.

I recently attended a department meeting where a fellow adjunct asked the question, “Why do part-time instructors outnumber full-timers nearly 3-1?”

Indeed, the meeting was filled with adjuncts; only a few elderly full-time instructors were in attendance. I’d always known the adjuncts outnumbered tenured, but it never dawned on me by just how much. I soon learned why.

“It is state law that colleges keep a ratio of 75/25 between full-time and part-time instructors.”

This took a moment to settle in, but when it did there were mutterings of discontent in this mostly adjunct crowd.

“You’re saying that the state requires that this college have 75% full-time instructors?” someone asked in shock. “That can’t be right! What’s the ratio in our department?”

The chair chuckled softly.

“We are almost exactly 75% part-timers. The exact opposite.”

He went on to explain that most departments had the same ratio as ours, and that he didn’t know of any college in the state that was any different.

I imagined if every college in the state suddenly had to go from 75% adjunct instructors to 25%. I’m working at three districts right now, and would likely lose my job at all three of them. However, while they were purging part-time instructors, they would also being hiring enough full-timers to triple their current numbers. Chances would also be likely that I’d get a full-time position at one of those three colleges, or somewhere else.

“So why doesn’t the state enforce the 75/25 law?” I asked.

“They do,” our chair told us. “They fine all colleges that do not comply with the law. The problem is that it is cheaper by far for the colleges to pay the fine than to hire full-time instructors.”

People went on to ask about the college’s financial situation, etc. The chair told us the college was doing fine; we were very profitable. Soon the conversation drifted to talk about our lack of offices, and supplies, and so forth and so on. I felt a growing discontent within me, and my pen absently scribbled down the following words in my notebook, from which I drew the thoughts of this entry:

They’d rather break the law than give us a job with healthcare, and security.
College professors.
What will become of us?

A borderline student, who is likely not going to pass my class, has requested a conference with me. These never go well. The student never wants to discuss their writing; they just want to inform me that they do not understand why they aren’t passing the class. I usually take about fifteen minutes to explain all the things their writing is lacking, all the mistakes they are repeatedly making, but they just fold their arms and tell me that they have no idea what my problem is.

I hate these things!

What annoys me most is that a student will ask questions that they should have asked weeks, even months ago. I’ve had students ask me to explain major assignments the day before they are due (MAJOR assignments, worth 20% of their grade, and for which they had months to work on). I find myself repeating my lectures during one-on-one conferences. The students don’t listen, and they don’t ask questions until they are failing. They are often surprised attendance alone is not enough for a B.

Brainstorm! Oh, I just had a brainstorm!

From now on, whenever a student comes up to me after class and asks a question they should have asked in class…I won’t answer it. I’ll say, “You should have asked that in class. Ask me that first thing when next we meet.”

No more private lessons.

Just noticed this sad story on the Salon Wires, from The Sun:

Mar 6th, 2009 | YUMA, Ariz. — “No money — please donate supplies.” That’s the desperate plea an elementary school in Yuma (YOO’-ma), Ariz., has posted on its marquee.

Carver Elementary School Principal Debra Drysdale says the message is no joke — and it’s working. She estimates that the school has received $500 to $700 in donations from community members, parents and people who just happened to be driving by.

The principal says the funds the school uses to buy office supplies and replace equipment and furniture have been depleted. She says teachers are buying supplies for their classrooms and saving money by shutting off lights and returning district-supplied cell phones.

I’m sure everyone by now has noticed my own sad little beggar’s cup…