The Adjunct

Just in time for my birthday, a couple of really nice comments left about me on that miserable site.

He is a VERY good teacher. Lectures with power& inspiration, because he definitely inspired me. He is very STRICT, but he does that to make sure you get ur work done. Class consists of 3 essays(1/month). Easy Quiz everyday. Short Readings everynight. Tough,yet reasonable grader & has a portfolio at the end of the quarter. 1 novel throughout class.

I actually feel uncomfortable when students start saying I inspire them. I’d rather hear comments that indicate strict but fair, because that is a type of pride I can feel comfortable with. Whenever we get into this “he inspired me” stuff I get uncomfortable. Obviously I am touched and proud to have made some kind of impact in someone’s life, but it puts a weird emphasis and added importance to what is still just my day job.

This class is heavily centered around discussions, so be prepared to share. I recommend taking this class if you are willing to put a lot of effort into writing. Believe me, an A is achievable if you really work hard for it. Lewis is more than willing to give input to rough drafts, so take advantage of that.

What I really like about this comment is the idea that the A can be achieved if YOU put the work into it, and that I am there to offer great help if YOU take advantage of me.

I had a student last quarter who got very angry about her failing grade and insinuated that I hadn’t told her what to do to pass the class. She claimed, at the end of the quarter mind you, that I had never fully explained the concepts she was being expected to demonstrate in her essay, that my lectures were sparse and left her confused. I countered that she never ONCE raised her hand and asked a question. Not once. I also added that she missed many of the key lectures due to her frequent absences and never sought to make up the work. In addition to all this, her essays failed because none of them were even close to the minimum page length (most were less than half of what I asked for) and all of them were incomprehensible attempts at empty summary.

So rarely is the emphasis upon what a student puts into class, and so often it is recriminations against the teacher. When I was in graduate school a fellow candidate responded to my own complaints about the faculty by saying, “These professors can’t teach you anything, but you can learn quite a lot from them if you put in the effort.” Veyr true.

I guess that is why I feel uncomfortable at the idea of my class inspiring someone. Inspire yourself. Show us what you can do.

Oh, this one is just lovely:

He is kind of weird. Very strict to the grade of your essay. His grade standard is A is very impressive and excellent. B is good and impressive. C is sort of OK or just so~so. His writer journal and quiz are not hard. He speaks a lot about fiction, but teach a little on writing. Overall, dont take him if u r a ESL student or u want get a good grade

I am weird because A = excellent, B = very good and impressive, and C = satisfactory? That’s weird? That’s what the grades are supposed to designate! What do you expect, an A for doing “just so-so” work?

Oh, and I love the little dig of “don’t take him if u r a ESL student” as some kind of insinuation of prejudice on my part. Fuck you. I give out plenty of A grades to students who happen to be ESL. You get the grade you earn. In fact, if you asked me to name my top 3 students ever, two of them would be non-native speakers. So, really, fuck you for implying some kind of bias on my part. I work damn hard to grade essays anonymously, and to ensure that everyone gets a fair shake in my class. You get the grade that you earned, not the one I gave you.

You want an A? You have to work for it, and work hard. I’ve had non-native speakers put native speakers to shame with the excellent quality of their work.

So, seriously, go fuck yourself.

By the way, “He speaks a lot about fiction, but teach a little on writing.” The class is English 1B: Literary Analysis. You are expected to know how to compose a college level essay at this point, and the class is supposed to focus on how to read, analyze, and respond to fiction and literature.

I love how no matter how high a level English class I teach, I still get students walking in who say, “I’m not really good at essay writing. I hope this class teaches me the basics, because I sure could use it.” No! High school is supposed to teach you the basics! Not my college level English class. My class is supposed to build upon what you already know, but these students can’t even properly define what a thesis statement is or what an introduction paragraph functions to do. “Uh…an introduction paragraph is…uh…it is supposed to grab your audiences attention?” No, and you can drop all that attention grabbing nonsense behind when you are writing a contextual analysis of a piece of literature. You introduction should, in addition to containing your thesis, contain a summary of all the topics of support that you will be using to explore and ultimately prove your thesis. No, not a summary of the short story you read for this assignment. No, not a summary of what a contextual analysis is. No, not a cutesy question such as, “Why do we fight?”

Hey non-professors, how’d you like to get half a dozen of these fucking things, posted anonymously on the internet for all to see, about you everytime you finish a quarter’s worth of projects at work?

And know that all future clients, as well as your co-workers and boss, read them before working with you?

he is a little awkard…but very nice and you will learn…be prepared to be lectured though..he kind of go offs and likes to ramble…but he is an excellent teacher who helps you improve your writing…very very easy. only a couple of essays and lets you correct it.

Damn it, I don’t like confirmation that I…uh…ramble. That’s going to get stuck in my head while teaching and only cause me to ramble more. Uh…uh…uh…

Ah, the winter solstice! Classes are done, grades are in, and the spirit of the season is upon us at ratemyprofessor.com:

He is helpful and his explanations are clear. willing to stay after class and answer all your questions. One thing is he seldom gives high grades. I got a C in his class but I think I really learnt a lot from it. Think twice before you take his class

Think twice before taking a class where the professor is helpful and his explanations are clear? Think twice before taking a class where you will learn a lot? If you got a C, then maybe the fault is not mine.

Students just want an easy A. What really drives me to despair is that they acknowledge that the class is teaching them things, and that I am performing my job well, but they don’t value it.

A new comment was left about me on ratemyprofessor.com:

This class is a challenge so u better be ready to work hard. He is a very hard grader and wants near perfection on essays. He tends to ramble and say “uh” about 50 times, but he is helpful. You have to work hard to get a good grade, if u do mediocre work u will get a C

“The class is a challenge so u better be ready to work hard.” Given the rest of the student’s comment, I feel this is meant to convey a negative aspect of the class, but I am very happy to hear that my class is a challenge and that my students need to work hard. “He is a very hard grader and wants near perfection on essays.” Again, I am proud that I am not an easy grader who doesn’t expect great work and great effort from students. An easy grader who accepts any piece of shit essay is who we need less of at college, not more of.

I’d also like to respond to the following: “You have to work hard to get a good grade, if u do mediocre work u will get a C.” Why shouldn’t you have to work hard to get a good grade? I understand frustration from students at working hard just to pass, but this student seems annoyed that hard work is expected in order to get a good grade. If students who do mediocre work in my class are indeed getting a C, then I really have fucked up, and I’m sorry. Mediocre work should get a D, not a C. I know this student intended to convey that mediocre work should score higher than a C, but I am forced to respond by making my criteria for passing more strict.

Oh, and finally: “He tends to ramble and say “uh” about 50 times, but he is helpful.” So the fact that I am actually a helpful teacher is countered, with apparent equality, by the fact I say uh a lot. Do you know who else says uh a lot? The president. Why? Because he’s fucking smart and wants to make sure the words he is using are the absolute best to convey the often complex thoughts he is trying to express.

You know who doesn’t…uh…care if you do…uh…mediocre work? Uh…uh…McDonald’s.

This was handed to me by a student arriving late for class. Does anyone even need any details?

At the time I posted how much adjuncts get paid I felt somewhat humiliated at our meager pay.  What I should have realized was just how lucky I was to be getting paid at all.

You see, one of the colleges I teach at…let’s just call them Looney College…decided to mail my paycheck to the wrong address.  This is apparently both my problem and my fault, according to payroll.

My paycheck was mailed to my old apartment, and I have been trying for the last three weeks to get payroll to reissue the check to me.  Payroll has been 100% uncooperative.  I initially left voicemails which were never returned.  When I finally got  a hold of a human being (and I do use the term lightly) in payroll, she was very vocal about blaming me for the situation.  She refused to begin the process of canceling the old check and issuing a new one, and she spent most of the conversation complaining about how many of us fail to keep our information up to date.

I told her that I did keep my information up to date, that usually paychecks are direct deposited, and that my move coincided with the mailing of this particular check.  It’s not an issue of blame, I told her, the check ended up at the wrong address and you need to cancel out the check before someone cashes it and issue me a new one.

She said that what I was asking was a lot of paperwork, and that she’d contact me in a week with instructions about how to begin the process.  The week passed with no contact, and so I called her again.  When I finally got a hold of her, she said they would not be reissuing any checks anytime soon, and I’d just have to wait.  I told her that I’d already been waiting 3 weeks,  and that I had bills to pay.  She said it was my own fault for not updating my address, and that since it wasn’t her fault she wasn’t going to do anything about it anytime soon.  She said she’d be in touch with me but gave no date when she’d call me back (something she has never yet done) and no date as to when I could expect my missing paycheck.

Also, in checking the online paystub, I see that I was only paid for 8 of the 11 units I am currently teaching at the college.

So I am beginning the process of seeing if that mighty teacher’s union that non-teachers are always complaining about can actually do anything to help me, seeing as payroll more or less hung up on me.

Isn’t this sort of shenanigans illegal?  If someone is owed money, then isn’t it really important they…you know…get paid?

I feel so powerless and humiliated.

Dear Professor STAFF,

I am a student at a community college. I already have an Associates of Science, and am currently going for my second. Upon reading through the entirety of the website (I must say I was riveted by its content) a new respect for my current professors grew. I do appreciate all the hard work they put into classes, and do understand it’s a very difficult, and often thankless, position to hold. Though, I must admit until now I didn’t realize how difficult and thankless. I just wanted to say, as a student, I do appreciate your effort to educate us.

I do have a question, however. I read your post about how you noticed in the beginning of your career you noticed there being a direct correlation between attendance and grades. I must say that I find this often to be true, but I am an accomplished autodictact. While occasionally I get information from the teacher I did not find anywhere else, I often find it difficult to attend classes because I’ve already pretty well taught myself. Often times, even though my performance is excellent, I do find that my grade suffers very much from my attendance record. (My attendance is often poor due to lack of motivation to actually sit through a class.) I understand it’s important to be present for tests, and the occasional handout (though most teachers utilize blackboard and other such websites where I can often print my handouts from), I do not understand why I should be punished for my ability to teach myself. My real question is, is there a way to get around a teacher’s attendance policy (I’m guessing probably not), or is there a better way to try and motivate myself to go to a class that I am extremely bored in, even if I can teach the information to myself?

-V

Dear V,

How would you know what you’re missing if you’re missing it? How would you know what you’re supposed to learn if you’re not there?

You are not being punished for your ability to teach information to yourself.

Logistically speaking, the class requires several components in order to receive a passing grade. One of them, obviously, is comprehension of the material, but another is attendance in the class. College is more than just a one-dimensional assessment of your ability to acquire information. Although it might be true for some courses, most college classes cannot simply give you a textbook and then ask you to read it on your own, return in six months, take one test and then be granted a passing grade. There are other components involved. The instructor’s lectures and guidance is part of it. Even if you already know the information, or are capable of learning it independently, your instructor can add to you comprehension of the information. They can provide you with new ways of looking at what you already know, or they can detect and correct any errors that you may have unknowingly made on your part. Even if you are not gaining new insight, and even if you’ve made no mistakes, part of the process is regular practice.

An accomplished musician is accomplished not just because they know how to play their instrument, but because they practice it everyday. Such an accomplished musician does not say to herself, “Wait a second. I already know how to play these songs. Why should I bother playing them again if there is no audience here?” She sees the value in going over what she already knows. In fact, musicians often practice by playing very simplistic tones. They understand that repetition and rehearsal of the basics will continue to sharpen their skills and improve their abilities. It is the same way with your academic subjects.

College is an academic forum. It is a gathering of like minded people for the exchange of ideas and information. You need to participate in that exchange. Yes, many or most of your instructors may be inept failures. Such is life. Yes, most of your classmates are brain-dead zombies who can barely spell their own names correctly. Again, such is life. A college classroom that can be found lacking is not improved by your absence. Attend and offer your brilliance to it as much as you can.

When I was in graduate school one of my fellow candidates told me, “None of these professors can teach you anything, but you can learn a lot from them.”

Or you can just take an online class.

Note: The following correspondence appears unedited except for the omission of names. This email was received within minutes of the email mentioned in my previous post. Do a D and an A average out to a B on my part? Maybe a B-…

Professor STAFF,

I just wanted to say thank you. Without your help last quarter I never would have gotten an A this quarter. Thanks again and I hope all is well.

-Student

Student,

That’s really great to hear. You were an excellent student, and I wish you the absolute best in your future endeavors.

-Professor STAFF

Note: The following correspondence appears unedited except for the omission of names. English 2 (Critical Thought & Reasoning, is the highest level English course offered at a community college. It is considered a sophmore English course, and counts as such.

Professor STAFF, this is Student from your ewrit2 class on m/w. I wanted to talk to you about my grade. I feel like I tried very hard on the final portfolio, and I deserved a better grade than a D. I would like to know my final points, and percentages. I really needed this class to be transferrable and I was surprised that the effort I put forth was not realized in my final grade. If you could email me back it would be much appreciated.
Thanks, Student

Dear Student,

Essay 1 – 128 points (64%)
Essay 2 – 146 points (73%)
Essay 3 – 138 points (69%)
Quizzes – 114 points (57%)
Journals – 85 points (85%)
Portfolio – 69 points (69%)

Total 680 points (68%) = D

I wouldn’t call a 57% on the quizzes putting forth much effort. Nor would I call a final essay that fails to meet even the minimum page requirements a considerable effort either (5 page minimum, yours was half a page short of this minimum). You knew since day one that failure to score well on the daily quizzes would hurt your overall score, and you knew that failure to even meet the minimum page requirement for your essay would almost certainly assure you of a non-passing score for that paper. Considering that you got a D on your first essay, and a very low C on your second, I am surprised that you are this shocked by your final grade. Finally, your portfolio required a revision of three (3) writer’s journals, yet you only included one (1): this also assured you of a low score for that section of your grade.

I hope this clears up any confusion you may have.

Professor STAFF